The Stupidest Angel v2.0: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror Pine Cove Book 3

No, he's not on his deathbed; no, his dog hasn't run away from home. Twas the night okay, california, and all through the tiny community of Pine Cove, more like the week before Christmas, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit. But not everybody is feeling the joy.

But josh is sure that he saw santa take a shovel to the head, Santa, and now the seven-year-old has only one prayer: Please, come back from the dead. But hold on! There's an angel waiting in the wings. Unfortunately, and before you can say "kris kringle, our angel's not sporting the brightest halo in the bunch, " he's botched his sacred mission and sent the residents of Pine Cove headlong into Christmas chaos, culminating in the most hilarious and horrifying holiday party the town has ever seen.

Move over, charles Dickens -- it's Christopher Moore time. Wings, get it? it's none other than the Archangel Raziel come to Earth seeking a small child with a wish that needs granting. Little joshua Barker is in desperate need of a holiday miracle.

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Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove Pine Cove Book 2

Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, to be accurate, California, so naturally—well, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar.

Suddenly, if anything, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, to do about it.


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Practical Demonkeeping Pine Cove Book 1

The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy traveling companion. The green one is catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. The winos, meanwhile, neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, have other ideas.

And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose. Behind the fake tudor façade of Pine Cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. In christopher moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature.


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Island of the Sequined Love Nun

Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, irreverent, ingenious, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.

Our bumbling hero is tucker case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise—a world of cargo cults, ninjas, mad scientists, cannibals, and talking fruit bats.

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Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story

A would-be kerouac from incontinence, Indiana, Tommy to his friends is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door. And proceeds to rock tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

Thomas Flood fits in. Jody never asked to become a vampire. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. But when she wakes up under an alley dumpster with a badly burned arm, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, an aching back, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

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Coyote Blue: A Novel

From master of subversive humor Christopher Moore comes a quirky, metaphysics, outlaw biking, myth, angst, irreverent novel of love, and outrageous redemption. As a boy, he was samson hunts alone—until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Then one day, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love—in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid—and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient god by the name of Coyote.

Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam. And to seriously screw up his existence in the process. Today he is samuel hunter, and a hollow, a condo, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, invented life.


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You Suck: A Love Story Bloodsucking Fiends Book 2

Being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask C. Even worse, tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named duh Blue. But tommy and jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting.

Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. And surprise! Now he's one, too. And that really sucks.


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Bite Me: A Love Story Bloodsucking Fiends Book 3

Christopher moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word. Carl hiaasen the undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining  his farcical gems bloodsucking fiends and you suck, is no twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, nosferatu style love, urban, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.

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Fluke: Or, I Know Why the Winged Whale Sings

Until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite me. Trouble is, nate's beginning to wonder if he hasn't spent just a little too much time in the sun. But later, when a roll of film returns from the lab missing the crucial tail shot -- and his research facility is trashed -- Nate realizes something very fishy indeed is going on.

By turns witty, irreverent, puzzling, fascinating, and surprising, Fluke is Christopher Moore at his outrageous best. Cause no one else on his team saw a thing -- not his longtime partner, Clay Demodocus; not their saucy young research assistant; not even the spliff-puffing white-boy Rastaman Kona né Preston Applebaum.

. Just why do humpback whales sing? that's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, wet, and photographing very big, charting, recording, gray marine mammals.


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The Serpent of Venice: A Novel

The girl isn't even in the city limits. The wine is drugged. Venice, a long time ago. Desperate to rid themselves once and for all of the man who has consistently foiled their grand quest for power and wealth, they have lured him to his death. Three prominent venetians await their most loathsome and foul dinner guest, the erstwhile envoy from the Queen of Britain: the rascal-Fool Pocket.

This trio of cunning plotters—the merchant, promising an evening of sprits and debauchery with a rare Amontillado sherry and Brabantio's beautiful daughter, Montressor Brabantio; and the naval officer, Antonio; the senator, Iago—have lured Pocket to a dark dungeon, Portia. But their invitation is, of course, bogus.

But this Fool is no fool. How can such a small man, be such a huge obstacle? And he's got more than a few tricks and hand gestures up his sleeve. Greed, lust, revenge, deception, and a giant but lovable sea monster combine to create another hilarious and bawdy tale from modern comic genius, Christopher Moore.

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A Dirty Job: A Novel

They're even about to have their first child. Yes, charlie's doing okay—until people start dropping dead around him, and everywhere he goes a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Charlie asher, it seems, has been recruited for a new position: as Death. It's a dirty job. Charlie asher is a pretty normal guy with a normal life, married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy.

. But, hey! Somebody's gotta do it.


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